My thoughts continue on from yesterday’s blog “ Hidden Things”. I left off with the thought about our heart and how it holds on to memories that have helped to shape things into the condition that our heart now finds itself. Most of us have a wide assortment of memories stored there, that we visit from time to time.
Sometimes we may be walking and a scent or fragrance of some kind catches our attention. The scent has something familiar about it so it triggers a memory to come to mind and often with it comes the emotion attached to that memory. Myself I love to catch the smell of fresh bread being baked in the oven. There is just something warm and fuzzy about that scent. Pictures of families joyfully gathering for meals comes to mind and a sense of peace. But sometimes there are smells that strike you quite the opposite. You may suddenly feel very unsafe and have the urge to get away from wherever it is that you are. You may or may not remember what the memory is that is attached to the scent but you can rest assured that it is not a pleasant one.
Our hearts will use these senses to know how to respond. There are so many of us have created walls of protection around our hearts, that we are not free to see things as they truly are. I imagine things looking like this. There is a person who is the keeper of the heart. The person’s job is to watch out for people who may try and gain entry to this place. As the person peers from behind these walls they look through a telescope so they can see as clearly as possible. The problem is that the telescopes lenses have been colored by the past so they see things through a colored lens. Because of this, things appear to be the way they have been in the past. That makes the gates to this place remain closed as the risk appears to be too great.
I once was traveling through Newark and I found myself in a place of anger and frustration. The area had experienced some bad weather and the flights were all delayed. The people who should have been long gone were all still there, leaving it almost impossible to find a place to sit. My wife and I traveled away from our gate to find a seat and we did find two seats in the same general area. As I sat there I noticed that the lady across from me was in conversation with the man beside her about the delays etc. There was something about her that caught my attention. It wasn’t what she was saying but how she was speaking. There was something familiar about it so I searched the vaults of my mind and heart trying to figure out what it was. The emotion I was feeling was anxiety and it was running deep. Finally the man’s flight was called and they said their farewells and she was alone facing me. It wasn’t long before I asked her how long she had been stuck there, where she was traveling too etc. During her response she said she was off to retrieve her son from his no good father. Click! There it was. She had the jitters from “ the two becoming one” only to be torn back apart into two no longer whole people. I remembered having those jitters for some time and she wasn’t the first person I saw exhibiting those signs after the separation. She was really hurting! I wanted to help her because I could still remember that pain myself but I was healed up enough to “ go there” to help her. She briefly would share some about marriage breakdown before she change the topic so she wouldn’t cry. I would give her a minute and then ask something else. I told her that I too had walked that road and that as much as it hurt right now, there was the possibility of a brighter tomorrow. I called Margie over and introduced her as my wife now and that I could not have been happier and this experience was so different than before. ( partly because I had been retrained while I was single ) She totally rejected that idea for her. She dared not to dream again of the happy marriage and family. She was not about to trust any man with her heart again. She not only had jeopardized herself in this past relationship but also her father who owned a welding rod company that she was part owner with. I was guessing the ex wanted some of that pie for himself. In her eyes she had failed both herself and her dad. At last she told me that IF she ever went to marry again there would be so many prenuptial agreements written he would never get anything when he left. In other words he would never be trusted as a result of her first experience. I looked her straight in the eye and said “ You can’t do that!” She became angry at me and said “ What do you mean I can’t do that!” I responded “ If you go ahead with that then you will NEVER know love again!” I know as she looked at me that she got it and I hope she was willing to risk yet again.
The thing about love is that it can only be known by the heart. It is not a topic that your mind can learn but it must be something embraced by our hearts. If you heart has a number of booby traps set up on the path to it or is surrounded by thick walls than love of a person will never find its way in. Sadly if this is the path you have chosen you are stuck where you are and can only act out love from what your mind thinks love is. To know love now you will need Jesus. He is the one who is able to make you feel safe enough to remove all the traps and to tear down the walls. It is He and only He who can accomplish this for you.
Why would I say that? Surely I must be one of those religious freaks who think they get points for saying Jesus to people. No, the Jesus we mostly hear about is in cliché’s like the ones we saw on Facebook during Easter, or some other twisted picture. He is actually a person who is love and is to be trusted with anything. Yes even your deepest darkest secret. Won’t He think I am bad if He finds out what I’m “really” like? No He already knows what you are like and He even knows how you ended up where you are and isn’t blaming you. He wants to free you to love and be loved. His love will do that for you. He wants to be your personal friend, not acknowledge you because you have joined the right club. You need not make any vows or promises to ask Him for help. I know He helped me personally and loved me in my badness and still does for that matter. He has the ability to speak right to your heart unlike anyone else.

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