Agonizing over Habakkuk

I wrote this a few years ago and recently rediscovered it. I thought others out there may identify with it and perhaps help with healing in some way.

Habakkuk 3

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[e]
able to tread upon the heights.

Even though Christian’s appetite is weak,

And his skin color is still yellow

The meat on his bones continues to vanish

And his strength is replaced with weakness

The cancer continues to grow and causes

Him to suffer great pain

Yet ………. Can I rejoice in the Lord? Do I trust that His strength will sustain us in this hour?

Will He again move in my life and lift us out of this pit?

 

Last night as I was going to sleep I heard Christian screaming. His mother exhausted from an endless shift of being mother and nurse tried to bring comfort to her son. Dad who is also battle weary from trying his best to lead and protect his family was with his pastor and a few of his friends being encouraged. I sat here in my room not knowing what to do. I felt like the men in the trenches who listened to the taunts of Goliath the giant. I wanted to go up and fix the problem but I felt powerless. Shame draped over me like a wet blanket So I sat on the floor and prayed however I felt like prayer wasn’t enough. I wondered if He heard me. My faith was waning. Then a bombardment of thoughts came to me causing me question was I of any value. Had I failed my family here? Where is the God whom I carry in this time of trial? Then I wonder about waiting on the Lord and searched out the verse and found this. I found more than I expected and felt like I was being spoken to personally.

 

Isaiah 26 Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
27 O Norman, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O son, how can you say God ignores your rights?

28 Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

 

And so once again I hear the voice of my heavenly Father and I am brought back to the path of truth. Though I still don’t know what will unfold in the days ahead I can trust that the one in whom I have trusted in the past will continue to be who He is in the future. He is not a man that He should lie and it is He who is always good, always pure and truly is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

So yes I can now come into agreement with Habakkuk and say:

18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[e]
able to tread upon the heights.

 

Friday, December-21-12

Hab3.17-18

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