MY FRIEND

 

Woman

I HAVE THIS AWESOME FRIEND YOU SEE

WHO OFTEN HIDES HER SELF

A PART OF HER IS BROKEN

SO SHE DOESN’T SEE HER WEALTH

 

SHE DOESN’T SEE THE VALUE

DEPOSITED RIGHT FROM THE START

ON EVERY TEST SHE FAILS HERSELF

AND DAMAGES HER OWN HEART

 

OH THE DEVIL IS SO CRAFTY

AS HE SPEAKS HIS LIES TO HER

YOU’LL JUST NEVER BE ENOUGH OH CHILD

AND NOT WORTHY TO BE HEARD

 

THE OTHER GIRLS ARE OH SO SWEET

AS THEY LINE UP NEXT TO YOU

IF ONLY YOU WERE MORE LIKE THEM

SO ON THESE LIES YOU STEW

 

THE TRUTH YOU SEE IS GOD MADE YOU

WITH PURPOSE AND PLAN IN MIND

HE OFTEN IS REVEALED THROUGH YOU

BUT THE LIES HAVE LEFT YOU BLIND

 

YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER

AND TRUST HIS WORK IS GOOD

HIS HEART DELIGHTS IN WHO YOU ARE

IF YOU ONLY UNDERSTOOD

 

GOD’S MERCIES ARE FOR EVERYONE

IN THIS YOU DO BELIEVE

IT’S TIME TO LIFT YOUR EYES AND SAY

HIS LOVES I DO RECEIVEUNITY

 

 

 

 

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Pain and it’s many forms

PAIN 1Pain in the neck

Pain is something that we all live with in one form or another. It comes in all shapes and sizes and is like a parasite as it sucks the life from it’s host. For this blog I want to explore the pain caused by betrayal. It happens to us all on the road of life but it doesn’t make it any less painful. I became familiar with betrayal as a young boy. Not all homes were that warm safe place growing up and mine wasn’t either. Mom and dad seemed to be at each others throats as longs as I can remember. The home was under constant threat of divorce. It was not as common as it is now but for me it was very troubling. I grew up with this nagging sense that I had no safe place and that love was highly unstable. ( She loves me, she loves me not )

Somewhere around the age of 10 I started to get really bad headaches. On one such time I was visiting a neighbor friend of my parents and she suggested I lay down and slept until it passed. She was always kind to me. I went to sleep and then woke as I heard a familiar voice. It was my father. I was curious why he was there. I went to see him and said “ Are you here to see if I was okay?” He said that he was. I was thinking how odd that he was doing that but I really wanted to believe that was true. I guess IO was never convinced at that age that I was really loved or appreciated at home. I really wanted to be so I accepted it as truth….. until I discovered that he was having an affair with that lady. That blow up was ugly which I got to see up front and personal. I was on my bicycle and going by that ladies house when my mother hollered for me to come in. I knew she was angry but I didn’t know why. I walked up the stairs and mom proceeded to tell me what this lady and dad were up to. There was lots of screaming. The ladies husband phoned and mom answered it. She tells the man what is going on and then takes the phone receiver and slams it into the woman’s face. At that point I left and so there blew up another place in my life that I found refuge in.Crying boy

Well the family split up for a while and my sister and I were moved to my aunts in a small village. She was a nice lady and so we needed to make new friends. Things were much quieter there and we settled in. One of my favourite things to do was to go into town to the racetrack and watch the horses go. One night mom took us ( during the separation period ) and my grandmother was there. ( dads mom ) It was time to go home and I wanted to stay later so my grandmother said I could stay and she would bring me home. That was great as my mom agreed. We the races were over I was in the car with her when she started to talk about the trouble with our family. I can’t remember what I said about it at the time but it was a negative comment regarding my father being the bad one. She got very upset and told me that it was not all dad’s fault because my mother was just an ol whore anyway. That comment sent me spinning as my one remaining parent was untrustworthy as well.Pain

It is funny how words can hurt and reshape you from one thing to another. My trust was destroyed as there was no place where you could trust other then I would need to trust my instincts and just watch myself. Where do you run as a child when home just isn’t home. It is funny but if someone were going to help me then and get me out of the mess I would have done whatever to stay there. My fear of the unknown was worse then the present fear I had. Yes betrayal can sure cause pain and the wounds are on the inside. Thankfully I discovered that there was a person who did love well and was willing to make me family. His love is unconditional and His home is indeed a safe place. His name is Jesus and He is very real. Anyway that is a few thoughts regarding betrayal that I found myself…… Just thinking

DARK DAYS

Sadness

The seasons change

and my scenery too

From the cold of winter

To the wet and goo

 

The rain clouds form

closing out the light

now dark and dreary

with no end in sight

 

My heart grows heavy

As joy has now fled

Sadness now comes

Filling me with dread

 

If I were alone now

Stuck in this pit

Soon I’d be hopeless

In the mess I’d sit

 

But I have a friend

And He’s always near

His words are true

And full of cheer

 

In His presence

I will smile again

In spite of the weather

I’ll dance in this rain

 

Circumstances do change

And trials do appear

But the love of my friend

Is always so near

Rainbow

With Him things are different

I’m safe and secure

the love of my Jesus

shall always endure

Jesus

UNITY IN THE BODY

Armor of GodWell I heard a message today about putting on the full armor of God and the vulnerable spots we still had though fully dressed. The point he was making was that with other members surrounding Him then he was safe. That was the springboard for my thoughts.

How many times I have heard of the value of the body of Christ. Scripture supports the idea and I believe I tied it into a message that I gave before. Today I stopped to really consider it. Unity in the body of believers is not a reality in the churches I have attended or visited. A few good small churches perhaps have some pockets but that’s it. So if it is a good idea then why is it not like that any and everywhere? Here is some good instruction regarding this.

18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

How many people are willing to submit to one another? What is it that holds us back? Here is the prayer Jesus offered up just before His sacrifice began. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.UNITY

22 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one.23 I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.

So it appears that the key to the world at large receiving the gospel is based on our being unified with God and our brothers and sisters. What could possibly stop us from just doing this??

I propose to you that most people in the body of Christ are not willing to trust one another and very likely do not trust God either. How many people grew up in a home where they felt loved, valued, and experienced a great sense of belonging? There are a few such people but very few. What about relational breakdowns and betrayals? How many of us have dated someone who ended up breaking our hearts? Perhaps it happened when you were married or both. You lost your husband/ wife to someone else? Perhaps a best friend? In life we are facing things that are not honoring or above board all the time. The workplace may have been a place of betrayal for you. You worked hard to receive you reward but the reward went to someone else. The boss was won over by seduction rather then work performance. We all have faced something at one time or another in life that has made us wary of our fellow man.37819432-depressed-young-businessman-sitting-wet-under-rain

So we show up at church as a new believer and what do we learn? Do we see the scriptures being played out here? Sadly we will receive messages about what we should be like “ Someday “ but they are chalked up as loft thoughts that might happen with enough attendance and enough bible studies. One day it might just fall into place……. But it doesn’t.

Let me share a true story with you. My wife and I were returning home from a nice visit to South Carolina. The airport there was beautiful. It was springtime and everything was green and full of life. The people working there were friendly and polite that it was sad thing to have to leave. We landed in Newark Airport that just endured a storm that had flights delayed and the airport was filled with frustrated angry people. My wife and I searched for a place to sit and finally found two seats. They were far from our gate and not together. Across from me sat a lady and a man who were engaged in surface conversation. I picked up on the fact that the lady was very nervous and quite upset. After a while the man’s flight was called and he escaped the mayhem.

So now I engage her in conversation but not to talk about the weather. There is something strangely familiar about her pain and I want to know what it is. As we chat she shares with me that she is flying somewhere to pick up her son from the rat Womanfink dad. Ahh there it is. She is freshly wounded from tearing apart the two made one. This pain I was all too familiar with and I wanted to encourage her. As I shared a little of my story I told her how God had picked up the pieces of me and put me back together and that I had even been remarried and was very happy once again. Well that triggered an angry response as she tells me that if she was to ever remarry that there would be so many prenuptial agreements to be signed that he would never get anything in the event of divorce. You see she was very hurt from her last relationship and her short term husband was trying to get all of her assets which spilled over into her dads assets who shared his things with her. I suspect that she felt terrible that her dad’s things were being jeopardized by her choice to marry this guy.

Now throughout our conversation she has been struggling to hold back a flood of tears. She would share something real and then have to cut herself all and say something silly as a method to save herself from coming apart. Her facade has almost completely failed. What if I knew she was not okay but was really broken. Surely then I would strike while she was weak. It may sound silly but when you are hurt and vulnerable this is a real fear. If people see you for what you really are then what? It’s a question that many of us ask ourselves.

So let me finish the story. After some time passes and she seems to have quieted back down I engage her again. My heart was really going out to her because I identified with her pain and suffering and I wanted her out of it. So I go back to the marriage discussion with her and say “ You know you really can’t do that don’t you? ( I am referring to her prenuptial agreement plan ) She responds much like I expected. “ What do you mean that I can’t do that!” I believe it was God who spoke to her through me at that moment. “ If you do that then you will never know love again.” To really know love then we must make ourselves vulnerable to another. Love allows us to view a person with a different lens and to see the person more like God sees them, more like the truth about them. I know that she left with a bit of truth and encouragement that day but ultimately it is up to her what she would choose for herself. Every wall of protection we build potentially cut us off from a source of life.hole in wall

So who’s to blame? I would say you and I are to blame. Rather then walk according to the Spirit of God we walk by our many excuses as to why we are not following Jesus in the ways He laid down for us and prayed for. “But Jesus, The church I went to had nobody doing as you did so I couldn’t break rank could I?” Jesus, “I had been hurt so many times by people that there was just no way I could trust them enough to be in unity.”

As I type these words to page I feel a little sick about how I have settled for the luke warm Christian life. It seems that we are resisting the very thing that Jesus prayed for. I would so love to see revival in my land but I may be the reason in my church that I don’t see it or at the very least, one of the reasons.

We are called to follow Jesus not man. We have figured out by now that man is lost. We are also called to submit one to another….. why?? Out of reverence for Jesus. That is that person who thought you and I were worth losing his life to save ours. He’s that one person who has never lied to me, cheated me, abandoned me and never rejected me. So when He tells me to love my neighbour and to be humble and to submit myself to others for His sake is He doing it to break my heart? My trust? Is He hurting me in some way or can I just trust that if He loves me more then any other person then I know that what He asks of me is good.

luggage  Most of us are still carrying baggage from the past that needs to be released. The walls that we built to imprison us that we thought would protect us need to come down. Wounds that we have need to be dealt with and not just covered up. We need healing and I only know one doctor who is able to help, but the good news is that he will. We just need to show up and surrender our wounds to Him and let Him do the rest. Proverbs 3 : Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Rather then have Jesus ask us “ Why were you not willing to…… let us follow Him and then hear “ Well done my good and faithful……. Or at least that is what I find myself…….. Just Thinking.

My Moral High Ground

 

 

In the book of wisdom ( Proverbs ) WAR & CONFLICT BOOK
ERA:  WORLD WAR I/PATRIOTISMit says this.

23 “Guard your heart above all else,

For it determines the course of your life.

24 Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.”

 

This is a safeguard for us that will keep us on the positive side of life. It is hard these days not to be pulled into the negative news stream of the day. The election in the U.S. is long over but the camp that lost has never accepted the outcome. The slanderous things that are spoken out against their own president is going to bring change but not the change they want. When you spew out poison on someone whether it’s a president or your waiter in a restaurant, it will come home to roost, and when it does you will not like it. I know I have done that more then once and I wasn’t happy when I was on the other end of things.

When you hear a story about someone you really need to be careful with the information you get. Our emotions can guide us into jumping on a bandwagon that we shouldn’t be on. It won’t be taking us to any place we want to be. We all hear now about “ judging “ and it being a bad thing. Some of the very people who would say they live by that are judging Donald Trump. Are there exceptions to the rule?

I try and live a good life and treat others with respect and kindness but if you dug all through my past and picked out some of my biggest screw ups you could certainly paint me to be a horrible person and have the records to prove it. So am I my past? Am I not allowed to change and be given another chance?

What is the moral high ground that I am standing on that makes me a better person then say Donald Trump? The truth about us humans is that lots of are natural desires are selfish and our choices are what is best for the “almighty me.” We lust for things and if we think we can get it without being caught then we go for it. That can be material things or a person that we find very attractive. It isn’t love but that person can be used to satisfy MY need.

So what is my point? My point is that unless you have a spotless record you & I really should be treating and speaking things about people that we would want people doing to us. GUARD YOUR HEART! Nobody else will and that is what I find myself…… Just Thinking

 

 

AFRAID

 

37819432-depressed-young-businessman-sitting-wet-under-rain

 

The life I used to know

has somehow disappeared

The control and order in life

Is now replaced with fear

 

My confidence has been taken away.

Yet I still go through the motions

A part of me is dying

So for comfort I look to potions

 

Where is the God who saved me

Tonight while I feel this doubt

Is He still here with me

Or now alone I walk this out

 

He promised me He’d never leave

I will not be left an orphan

Guess He knew what He was getting

When He made me His own son

 

So by faith, I’ll praise my Father

and I’ll praise the 1st born Son

And I’ll look to find my teacher

Beautiful Holy Spirit, You are the only one.

WHO WANTS TO BE PICKLED?

Jams

How many of you out there like “preserves”? Who doesn’t like strawberry jam on a fresh buttered roll. Berries in my part of the world are strictly seasonal. So if you want to experience them anytime of the year then jamming or preserving them is the way to go. I decided to look up the meaning of preserve and here are a couple of examples.

to keep alive or in existence; make lasting:

to keep safe from harm or injury; protect or spare.

So nothing too surprising there. “Preserves” have moved way beyond that of fruit and vegetables now though. Every time we turn on any media it stares us in the face. The message is clear. Preserve yourself by wearing this makeup. It will take 10 years off your appearance! images

How about the various exercise machines that will preserve that youthful body of yours! Invest here so in your later years you will be able to retire in comfort. ( Life can be preserved ) Here are the things you need to eat to “STAY” healthy. This list goes on but I am sure you get my point.

The question that comes to mind is; “What is so great that you want to hang on to?” This was never the plan for us by our creator. Just read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Here are just the 1st two verses. For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.

Many of us are uncertain of what may come next and so we drag our feet thinking when the time to die comes that we lose everything at that point. Proverbs 3 ( the book of wisdom ) tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and hold nothing back. Our end goal is not to be pickled, jarred, or canned but to step out of this temporary living arrangement and step into the kingdom where all our enemies are gone. Sickness, fear, hatred betrayal are all behind us. There will be no preserve advertisements or dissatisfaction with oneself. The only regrets we will have there is when we reflect back of why we didn’t risk our lives for the sake of love. Not following a path that is prepared for you to walk. Perhaps not taking the hand of Jesus and ending up in a place where all your enemies are.

All of us will die and that is for sure. Maybe today is a good time to reset. Maybe it’s choosing to die in the waters of baptism and being raised in Christ the one and only real preservative for us. Maybe you have done that already but like me have bought into the lies that a wise person needs to preserve your self and so life has become nothing. They are all questions that we need to ask ourselves. There was already provision for you to live for eternity with the one who loves you most.

There is a better plan then just getting “pickled” or at least that is what I find myself.………. “ Just Thinking”

jars-preserves-18579934 

 

 

Day 3 At The Well

wellwall

Spiritual hunger is very great in the earth at this time. People are hurting and hungry for answers. Some have come to my church and left hungry as there was no spiritual food there. If people are not able to hear me then they cannot hear what I am doing in the earth. The lost ones who are searching, come into our house and don’t find what they need to satisfy their hunger. The fields that are white and ready for harvest, do not grow inside of buildings. When I walked the earth as a man, I build no great hall for people to gather at. I sent out my disciples 2 x 2 and I am powered them so that their journey would be a success. They have only me to rely on as they were not allowed to take any extra money or clothes but had to put their trust in me to provide. They all returned full! The disciples experienced what it was to walk in the power of the kingdom as they moved among the people. Man has always feared the unknown and that still the case today. People are not willing to risk themselves for the sake of another.

There have been many groups who have tried outreaches and found no success. If you were going on a fishing trip, would you go without taking bait? Would you put out your hook with no bait and expect a fish to bite. Do you remember the story of the small boy who had a packed lunch with two fish and five small barley loaves? This was plenty of fish for himself but could not supply the amount needed for this crowd. When he surrendered his supply to Jesus and Jesus blessed and it became enough to satisfy the whole crowd. Many in that crowd we’re satisfied because they were looking for food for their bodies. If the food supply had of continued then those who hunger for food would continue to come. You must ask yourself ”what are you hungry for?” This is not what I came to earth for. I came to supply them spiritual food that they could never otherwise receive.

Today things are very much the same. People are “ministering” to the poor by giving them food and not giving me. It is I that they really need but I am not being offered. Often I am presented as the God who was, or the God of folklore rather than God almighty. I change not! Passing out hotdogs may fill their stomachs but it will not provide any hope for them. Just as you need me to make sense of your life, they need me both to offer hope, and to make sense of their life. Many of them have been taken in by people claiming to have power. It is now hard for them to trust. A Word from me through you, that they know to be true, tells them that I know them, and this will break through their walls because this is what they have been searching for. When they understand that I am real, authentic, and that I know and love them, they will be changed. Just as you were once overjoyed to discover that I wanted you as my son, they too will be overjoyed. They need to know that I am the way today, that I am the truth in this world of lies, and that I am the way to return home to the Father, the one who loves you most. So I ask you, Will the fruit hanging on the branches be left to rot? The harvesters truly are so few. The harvest fields are all around you.

FREEDOM FROM BEING LOVED

risk-being-loved-500x500

My mind has been sent on a journey by hearing a quote from a man who knew Jesus in his imperfect life here on earth. In my journey here on earth I have experienced many things. As a young person I grew up in a home where my parents worked hard and we had the things that most children had. We took trips to places and camped and got to see more then many of my friends. The odd thing though is that I never really felt loved at least not always. My parents told me that I was loved just like many of us, but I perceived that receiving love was very much based on how I was performing. How we perceive things like love is very important as it is laid at the foundation of who we are as a person. If this is something weak, distorted or missing then our lives are easily toppled when adversity comes our way.

Since my perception of love was that I was not receiving it I was very needy and tried to convince myself and others that I was strong and did not need to be loved. So this was the lie that I tried to live out but of course it can’t be done with any success. I met a girl who was both beautiful and seemed to fill that need for love that I had and so we married. During the marriage I was faced with many things that I managed to avoid as a single person. With my many insecurities being challenged on a regular basis I became frustrated at every turn. I could no longer stay hidden and saw that I was failing as a husband and father. We had three beautiful children but again I felt I had nothing to offer as a parent and hoped that my wife could cover all those bases. Well divorce finally arrived at our home and my wife left with the children and I was now alone again.

Being alone allows time for reflection and I now was doing plenty of it. When I realized that being alone was a permanent situation I wanted to die. If I had not feared going to hell ( which may not be truth ) I would have done so. I remember one day in I was in the basement sweeping the floor getting ready to move out when I noticed a presence with me. I realized that God had not left me despite my many failures and wrong doings. I spoke out loud and asked Him why He was here when no one else wanted to be with me. I never heard an answer but really felt that He still loved me which seemed silly as I sure didn’t love me.

Well as I had mentioned earlier this need to feel loved was still very much in me so I started to seek out Jesus more as He had something I needed. Not only that but He had seen the worst of me and was still here and ready to love. How could I toss that aside. I was going to church more regularly but discovered that church and personal relationship were two different things. Church was me building friendships with others who had made Jesus a “ something” in their lives. As people we are in a constant state of change and so is our status with Jesus. Perhaps we will have a Christian Social Media site that with have “ Present status with Jesus”. In a public setting like church it was hard for me to receive love as I really didn’t believe people when They said that they loved me. I actually cringed when I heard the words and thought ” oh sure you do”, kind of like saying “ I love beer”. Perhaps it was this that kept me close to Jesus as He was my only source of love. I believed Him and trusted Him and so I could receive love. People I really didn’t trust and my heart was quite guarded from them.

Jesus began to teach me by His Spirit on a regular basis and we were like best friends. If I went to slander my wife to Him He would not hear of it. After I time I just stopped doing it as it was something He would never listen to. He did day to me “ She is not here to teach but you are so let’s work on you”. After a bit there came a change in me that I opened the door to my heart to a select few people. I started to visit a family who always appeared glad to see me. They too loved the Lord and really loved to see what He had to say in the bible. After a time another home open up and I felt like I was a part of their family as well.

I had migrated to a small church and I found the people to be like my real family. I so enjoyed them. It was a wonderful experience and I grew all the more as I was in good ground. Life began to expand and hope returned that life would be worth living. The kids came over on weekends and my friends would love on them which was such a blessing. Things had drastically changed since that day in the basement. He had found me and taken me from the depths of despair to the High Places where things are so bright and the air so invigorating. He even taught me so things about marriage and then brought me a wife that was more than I could have asked or hoped for.

Well I have traveled many miles since then and God has always had a home or two with people who loved me ( and now my wife ) and a place where I am loved for the person I am right now. In order to be truly free I must be open to receive love from my friends, family and strangers and there needs to be a dedicated love supply line attached to God when all three of them pour into you. I have such a line and mine has a valve on it which I control. I have made the mistake of cutting it back to near off when things happened that shook my trust in Them. Without that love flowing into my love tank I began to fall back into things like environmental control, self-protection and became a guarded person again as fear replaced love and lies became plausible. The wrench that opens the valve controlling God’s love is called trust. I couldn’t seem to find that wrench for a time.

This world and the dark ruler in it are trying to sever the line of love from God to every one of us at every moment of every day. He has more counterfeits for true love then there are hairs on my…. well my wife’s head. Much like Donald Trump’s solution of building a wall to create safety and protection I concluded that the same method would stop pain. I built one quietly around my heart thinking I was now protected when in fact I was now a prisoner. The most important thing in our lives is the ability to receive God’s love. Without His love we are empty vessels with many cracks and very unhappy. We often take solace in the fact that the majority of people are using one of those many counterfeits that the devil supplies.Then he convinces us what he offers is all there is. “Everyone is doing this so it must be right!” It isn’t! Freedom comes from knowing you are loved just as you are and that is what I find myself……… Just Thinking

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