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DAY 2 AT THE WELL

 

wellwall

Oh how important it is to listen for me and you trust me in the uncertain times. As you know people imagine what I am supposed to do and then when it does not happen they think I have left them down. People have free well to choose and they often choose poorly and end up hurt. The deceiver would have you think that I am behind all the calamity and pain that comes in your life. In this way he inflicts the pain and breaks trust between the person and I at the same time.

The woman at the well at five different husbands and now lives with a man who chose not to marry her. Can you imagine the kind of pain but this woman lives with every day. To be rejected by so many men would leave a huge scar on her heart not to mention the many trust issues. Yet here she is talking with Jesus and has opened herself up Him. This defies logic but yet it had happened. Jesus demeanor and in the way he spoke to her were both born out of love. The very reason that he met with her was first   birthed in love.

When the church goes out into the marketplace to minister to the lost, what is the reasoning behind this? Was this outreach first birthed by their love for the lost? Was I sought out in prayer to see if I was doing this? Many times this is not the case. My children think I will love them more if they lead someone to me. When a person fails to surrender all to me, then my love is not able to reach all the rooms in their heart and so they feel they are not loved as much as someone else. They conclude that they need to attract my attention by doing something for me and then they will be truly loved. Sadly they never know my love in full measure until they surrender all to me. Others may also thing that they will gain prominence for notoriety by becoming “good” at reaching the lost.

I can tell you now Norman how important the foundation is to any outreach. All of my work is built on the foundation of love. In this way the outreach is all about your love for me and your willingness to reach out to the lost. I know people are insecure but this must be overcome, as you must be prepared when you go into the enemy camp to rescue one of the captives. Love is a powerful force as I am by nature love, so walk in it.

If your secret motive is to lift yourself up, then will I assist you and that? Will my child enslaved to darkness be used to build your kingdom? Always inspect the foundation of any undertaking and make sure it is solid. Unless you spend time in my presence you will not have enough love to share with others. I can give you enough love for you to overflow.

As for the woman at the well, the walls of the prison surrounding her heart were broken down by the power of love. You know what the Scriptures say concerning my word.

Hebrews 4:12 “ for the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two edged sword, having between the soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.”

prison walls

DAY 1 AT THE WELL

 

wellwall

I am here at the well so to speak, to be alone with the one I love. I had forgotten what it is to come here with You and waiting on You to fill me with the living water that only you have.

below referring the woman at the well

What appears to you to be a chance meeting at the well was not that at all, but rather me being at the place and time that my Father revealed to me. I am who I am and you are who you are. Our Father made us both with great joy and great purpose. I know you feel as though you have missed your time but there are many appointments and opportunities available in one’s life. It is just a matter of you listening and then making it to your appointment. For the woman at the well that appointment changed both her destiny and that of her town’s. You see, not only was she a woman covered and crippled by shame but so also was her town.

The religious system of the Jewish faith had rejected and condemned the Samaritans’ and so hope for them seemed to be lost. Such is the time that you are in as well. The world has chewed up and spit out many and there are many more, who hide their secrets for fear of rejection. As you know, things that are hidden in the dark they will never heal but are an open gate for the tormentors.

How would you like to be one who happens to be at the appointment for someone and reveal to that person that God has not rejected them. Not only that but he has sent you there specifically for them. Would you like to be part of that Norman? A real rescue mission where the rescued are used to rescue those in jeopardy. You know what it is, to be sought out by the Lord, and how it changes things and also De-bunks so many lies.

As much as people say that they don’t believe, or care, they do. The lost are being tormented by the dark messengers of Satan every day. They have been convinced by the lies spoken to them that they are rejected, disqualified and unloved by me. We know that that is simply not the truth. It is time that they know the truth.

ONLY YOU

 

Who can know the secrets of my heart

Or the many rooms within

Who can breach the walls surrounding it

Only You

 

Who took the time to know me, before I ever was

Or covered my unborn soul

Who looked into time and decided my place

Only You

 

Who smiled and enjoyed the person He made

Giving me a piece they needed

Who gave me His love and sent me His word

Only You

 

Who watched as my soul departed from Him

Only to bring accusation

Who chose to remain faithful and love me still

Only You

 

Who waits in the morning for my eyes to open

Wanting to spend time with me

Who continues to believe that my life is worth it

Only You

 

Who cheers me on as I struggle with faith

To trust the unseen and choose to believe

Who’s love remains faithful from the day I was made

Only Younature-clouds-hdr-phenomenon

FREEDOM FROM BEING LOVED

risk-being-loved-500x500

My mind has been sent on a journey by hearing a quote from a man who knew Jesus in his imperfect life here on earth. In my journey here on earth I have experienced many things. As a young person I grew up in a home where my parents worked hard and we had the things that most children had. We took trips to places and camped and got to see more then many of my friends. The odd thing though is that I never really felt loved at least not always. My parents told me that I was loved just like many of us, but I perceived that receiving love was very much based on how I was performing. How we perceive things like love is very important as it is laid at the foundation of who we are as a person. If this is something weak, distorted or missing then our lives are easily toppled when adversity comes our way.

Since my perception of love was that I was not receiving it I was very needy and tried to convince myself and others that I was strong and did not need to be loved. So this was the lie that I tried to live out but of course it can’t be done with any success. I met a girl who was both beautiful and seemed to fill that need for love that I had and so we married. During the marriage I was faced with many things that I managed to avoid as a single person. With my many insecurities being challenged on a regular basis I became frustrated at every turn. I could no longer stay hidden and saw that I was failing as a husband and father. We had three beautiful children but again I felt I had nothing to offer as a parent and hoped that my wife could cover all those bases. Well divorce finally arrived at our home and my wife left with the children and I was now alone again.

Being alone allows time for reflection and I now was doing plenty of it. When I realized that being alone was a permanent situation I wanted to die. If I had not feared going to hell ( which may not be truth ) I would have done so. I remember one day in I was in the basement sweeping the floor getting ready to move out when I noticed a presence with me. I realized that God had not left me despite my many failures and wrong doings. I spoke out loud and asked Him why He was here when no one else wanted to be with me. I never heard an answer but really felt that He still loved me which seemed silly as I sure didn’t love me.

Well as I had mentioned earlier this need to feel loved was still very much in me so I started to seek out Jesus more as He had something I needed. Not only that but He had seen the worst of me and was still here and ready to love. How could I toss that aside. I was going to church more regularly but discovered that church and personal relationship were two different things. Church was me building friendships with others who had made Jesus a “ something” in their lives. As people we are in a constant state of change and so is our status with Jesus. Perhaps we will have a Christian Social Media site that with have “ Present status with Jesus”. In a public setting like church it was hard for me to receive love as I really didn’t believe people when They said that they loved me. I actually cringed when I heard the words and thought ” oh sure you do”, kind of like saying “ I love beer”. Perhaps it was this that kept me close to Jesus as He was my only source of love. I believed Him and trusted Him and so I could receive love. People I really didn’t trust and my heart was quite guarded from them.

Jesus began to teach me by His Spirit on a regular basis and we were like best friends. If I went to slander my wife to Him He would not hear of it. After I time I just stopped doing it as it was something He would never listen to. He did day to me “ She is not here to teach but you are so let’s work on you”. After a bit there came a change in me that I opened the door to my heart to a select few people. I started to visit a family who always appeared glad to see me. They too loved the Lord and really loved to see what He had to say in the bible. After a time another home open up and I felt like I was a part of their family as well.

I had migrated to a small church and I found the people to be like my real family. I so enjoyed them. It was a wonderful experience and I grew all the more as I was in good ground. Life began to expand and hope returned that life would be worth living. The kids came over on weekends and my friends would love on them which was such a blessing. Things had drastically changed since that day in the basement. He had found me and taken me from the depths of despair to the High Places where things are so bright and the air so invigorating. He even taught me so things about marriage and then brought me a wife that was more than I could have asked or hoped for.

Well I have traveled many miles since then and God has always had a home or two with people who loved me ( and now my wife ) and a place where I am loved for the person I am right now. In order to be truly free I must be open to receive love from my friends, family and strangers and there needs to be a dedicated love supply line attached to God when all three of them pour into you. I have such a line and mine has a valve on it which I control. I have made the mistake of cutting it back to near off when things happened that shook my trust in Them. Without that love flowing into my love tank I began to fall back into things like environmental control, self-protection and became a guarded person again as fear replaced love and lies became plausible. The wrench that opens the valve controlling God’s love is called trust. I couldn’t seem to find that wrench for a time.

This world and the dark ruler in it are trying to sever the line of love from God to every one of us at every moment of every day. He has more counterfeits for true love then there are hairs on my…. well my wife’s head. Much like Donald Trump’s solution of building a wall to create safety and protection I concluded that the same method would stop pain. I built one quietly around my heart thinking I was now protected when in fact I was now a prisoner. The most important thing in our lives is the ability to receive God’s love. Without His love we are empty vessels with many cracks and very unhappy. We often take solace in the fact that the majority of people are using one of those many counterfeits that the devil supplies.Then he convinces us what he offers is all there is. “Everyone is doing this so it must be right!” It isn’t! Freedom comes from knowing you are loved just as you are and that is what I find myself……… Just Thinking

Agonizing over Habakkuk

I wrote this a few years ago and recently rediscovered it. I thought others out there may identify with it and perhaps help with healing in some way.

Habakkuk 3

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
and the cattle barns are empty,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[e]
able to tread upon the heights.

Even though Christian’s appetite is weak,

And his skin color is still yellow

The meat on his bones continues to vanish

And his strength is replaced with weakness

The cancer continues to grow and causes

Him to suffer great pain

Yet ………. Can I rejoice in the Lord? Do I trust that His strength will sustain us in this hour?

Will He again move in my life and lift us out of this pit?

 

Last night as I was going to sleep I heard Christian screaming. His mother exhausted from an endless shift of being mother and nurse tried to bring comfort to her son. Dad who is also battle weary from trying his best to lead and protect his family was with his pastor and a few of his friends being encouraged. I sat here in my room not knowing what to do. I felt like the men in the trenches who listened to the taunts of Goliath the giant. I wanted to go up and fix the problem but I felt powerless. Shame draped over me like a wet blanket So I sat on the floor and prayed however I felt like prayer wasn’t enough. I wondered if He heard me. My faith was waning. Then a bombardment of thoughts came to me causing me question was I of any value. Had I failed my family here? Where is the God whom I carry in this time of trial? Then I wonder about waiting on the Lord and searched out the verse and found this. I found more than I expected and felt like I was being spoken to personally.

 

Isaiah 26 Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
27 O Norman, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O son, how can you say God ignores your rights?

28 Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

 

And so once again I hear the voice of my heavenly Father and I am brought back to the path of truth. Though I still don’t know what will unfold in the days ahead I can trust that the one in whom I have trusted in the past will continue to be who He is in the future. He is not a man that He should lie and it is He who is always good, always pure and truly is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

So yes I can now come into agreement with Habakkuk and say:

18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[e]
able to tread upon the heights.

 

Friday, December-21-12

Hab3.17-18

A Secret

 

It is amazing to watch something like a lie grow from nothing to something huge and destructive. Lies that appear harmless we refer to and “ white lies”. Lies are often like honey. They appear to be the sweet answer to the problem facing you but they are also very sticky as well so once you are involved you are often stuck.

I was reading the account of King David and his fall with Bathsheba. I think the first lie that he came into agreement with was one of entitlement. He was now the most powerful king in the known world and his word was the final authority. The days of hiding out or shepherding sheep were far behind him now and I suppose so was his humility. I would imagine he would have been bombarded with thoughts telling him that he was greater then his fellow man. How cloudy our mind gets when we drift away from God and then the truth becomes lost in the fog.

Well David wasn’t checking in with God as he had done in past times when he looked at Bathsheba with desire and decided to invite her over. I suspect even at that point that he just wanted to look upon her but knowing she was married he wouldn’t actually take her. The problem with those decisions is that the slope you walk is very slippery. Well he did take her and likely afterwards felt guilty but thought it would pass. There is no record of bringing her back over for a second visit so I can assume that his conscience was troubled.

No just when his mind began to be at peace again he gets word of her pregnancy. Now he realizes that he has got away with nothing and things are much worse then before. How can he keep the secret….secret? Now he needs to create more lies to hide what he has done in darkness. He has her husband sitting at his own table trying to get him to have sex with his wife and thereby assume that the child was his. I love this quote by the husband Uriah The Hittite.

“Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents,* and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.” David is confronted with the knowledge that this man is a man of honor and character. I know how I would have responded to that. I would feel so ashamed and would realize which one of us was walking the high road and who was not. Well David after many failed attempts to cause Uriah to fall he figured out that he needed to bury Uriah to bury the secret.

I wonder if David had deceived himself into thinking the God was with the ark in the tent and was not aware of things with him. It is funny the things that we as people do when we believe nobody is watching. The truth is that there are no secrets from God so when we think we are doing something in secret we are deceiving ourselves. I remember after keeping a secret from God after my failed first marriage. I kept that secret for four years and on the day I confessed it and said that I was willing to except His plan for me my life moved forward again starting on that very same day.

David was a wise man but even the wise can be deceived into thinking…… we lots of things. As far as ordinary people like you and I we face similar challenges in our daily walk. If we are not active in our relationship with God, and by that I mean confessing all your thoughts before Him and letting Him be part of all you are then you are ripe for deception as well. Intelligence cannot keep you from this. Deception is a powerful foe that is allowed into your mind by your secret desires. It is your secret desires that betray you to the enemy convincing you that you are still in charge when you are a prisoner. If you desire to do something that you know is wrong then tell God straight up that you are feeling that way but that you don’t want to be taken in by the desire. He won’t be angry at your honesty but will show you a way to overcome whatever it is you face. He’s a good, good Father and that’s a fact and is what I find myself……… Just Thinking.

My God & Father

Oh my God how good You are

Finding this one who was lost

With nowhere to go and no hope in sight

You saw my potential and paid a great cost

 

Your investment was so large

In return I gave you my word

That my life now belonged to you

To do as you wanted, it’s not so absurd

 

You can see the path ahead

Yet alone I am blind

To the things that await me

But I know Your plans are kind

 

You see, my God is for me

And all His choices made with love

So I shall not fear that which confronts

As know God is the hand and I just the glove

 

Each victory and kindness that I may display

Is just evidence of God’s power

To change what is broken

To raise up a son in this last hour.

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Reflections

Photo on 2015-09-29 at 12.15 PM

Reflections

Well it has been a while since I have written anything but I feel to take the time today. It is a rainy day out there which is a great day to sit and reflect on the many things that have happened over the last several days.

I recently was faced with a number of situations that exposed some things in my heart that definitely need work. One odd situation was in the area of relationships. I was at a conference where I had “ expectations” of meeting up with friends and reconnecting. In once instance I had a few texts from a person who wanted to connect and have a gab as we really never got to know each other in person but rather chats of social media and a few short chats in the past.

So I see the person while I am in the conference and I go over to make the connection and I am happy to see them and I instinctively give her a hug as we have been waiting ( it seemed ) to connect. Well she seemed to be very closed and almost afraid that I came into her space. I in turn was shocked at her reaction and wondered what I had done wrong. I replayed the events in my mind and didn’t see anything wrong other then I must have misread the person I thought I knew to some degree.

Now as you know when it comes to relational things there is no point in trying to discuss what the other person did with God as He is not interested in bashing one of His children with one of His other ones. He was willing to chat with me about me. I was somewhat offended, confused and oh that feeling of rejection that has played havoc in my life but to a lesser degree as I matured. My immediate response was to fake my way along in conversation with the person and said how the three of us ( Margie ) would get together to catch up in how each others lives were going etc. I could not shake that response from me though as my “ feelings” were now dictating my choices.

My immediate plan was to cut the source of this hurtful negative feeling which emanated from this person. I would now avoid her as much as possible and when I did run into her just give a polite smile and keep walking. Eventually this loose connection would just go away. She would just disappear from my world and thus the threat of another hurtful encounter would be removed from my life. I have great life managing skills! They don’t have God’s stamp of approval though. These skills will help you stay disconnected from the body and keep you in the shallow end of God’s pool. The real question that I should be asking myself is “ Is this person really the source of my hurt feelings?” The answer to that question is no.

There is one who is an enemy of God and was my former master who still wants to control and sometimes still does my actions. His greatest power to control me is through the power of pain whether physical or through “feelings”. He knows from history what buttons to push to cause me to move in a way pleasing to him and not to God. So in this instance I cut her off in my mind and never did connect with her. I did what was wrong yet again. It is only now that I am taking the time to reflect on what happened did I see that I was wrong. Perhaps my action also hurt her and she is being harassed by Satan as well. Satan’s plan is to divide us from one another as he knows there is power in us walking in the blessing of God which is unity. By cutting her off I have now sinned and pleased Satan by wounding two of us. Also if I have sinned then that means the wages of this thing are still death and that my employer paying these wages is Satan himself. This choice is worse then I first thought. The choice was supposed to protect me but in fact has endangered me. So now that I have planted a bad seed I have no choice but to go back and dig up that bad seed and plant a new one.

Feelings are a great gift that God has given us but when Satan has power over you through them the gift becomes a curse. The choices I make need to be based on what God has said through the gift of the bible. He explains what is right and how to prefer each other and that the blessings that we all desire in life flow out of our choices that line up with what He has taught us. People are really not our enemy nor the source of pain. People are often just a puppet in the hands of the evil puppeteer. When we choose to follow God’s way we cut the strings off from the evil puppeteer and we are free again. We are free to love and show kindness and the world becomes a brighter place for us all. This is what I am…… Just Thinking

MY ONE TRUE LOVE

Love-Wallpapers-love-33002117-1600-1000 copy

Well we are well into another season of weddings here in the Maritimes. My son Thomas was among those who made their wedding vows. There was of course the jitters before the wedding showing but once the ceremony was complete there was joy on the faces of the new married couple.

I think most couples think, as they stare into the eyes of their loved one believe there is no one else who could satisfy their heart like this person. They believe that this person is the only one who has my heart and for a time it may be true. Time has a funny way of changing things though. Initially there is great care in guarding this all important relationship, but then time rolls by and you begin to relax your efforts. Perhaps it is the money you need to pay for the new car that has your attention. Children come along and they require lots of time and thought and usually right now. The one thing that was most important to you both gets lost in the pursuit of the things “we need” in life.

Marriage is under attack in the earth today. Sexual desire’s outside the marriage are no longer things to be resisted but promoted. Sexual sin has been deemed not to be sin and has been reclassified as natural. The internet has made this particular sin to be readily available. Recently in the news there was a web site hacked that was set up for married couples wanting to have sex outside of their marriage. It was all supposed to be secret but opps it was exposed. Once our attention is no longer given to protecting the marriage relationship and having it valued greatly then it is doomed to break down. In my earlier years I was baited into becoming successful if I did this, that and the other thing. I believed I was not okay as I was but needed to turn my focus on things that “would make me” a real man!! Well as you can guess it lead me to a failed marriage and a broken heart. That turned out to be a lie that has cost me everything. Fortunately life was not over.

Many of us have the same sort of beginning with our marriage or covenant with God. We start out so excited in this new relationship and can’t believe that God could love a wretch like me. This is amazing! The God of the universe has chosen me, loves me, and He walks and talks with me! Oh how sweet it is as the late Jackie Gleason would say. Just like marriage we can become familiar with the love of our life and so we start to move on to other things in our life that we need. Perhaps it is the praise of people you need to make you feel better. Wow as I type this I am struck by that phrase, “ to make me feel better”. When we break the gaze of our God and look out there to find something to satisfy something in us we are headed for trouble. It may not even be outside of the church world. Maybe it is a subtle as needing to lead worship, needing to preach or leading the charge at a bible study. These are all good things but if they are being done to satisfy your own need then it becomes a snare to you. I for one know I have fallen in a few of these things.

Is your need to be loved not being fully met in God? Are you not being “made to feel” like you are special? These are things that I have struggled with and if I am being honest I still do then you are vulnerable to the enticement of this world. This covenant with the Lord under the blood of Jesus is also very much under attack. If your eyes are no longer staring into His eyes then you are in a place where your oil is running low in your lamp and it might just go out. It isn’t too late for me or for you either. Here is a scripture from 1st Samuel that may speak to you as it did me.                        1 Samuel 7:3 Then Samuel said to all the people of Israel, “If you want to return to the Lord with all your hearts, get rid of your foreign gods and your images of Ashtoreth. Turn your hearts to the Lord and obey him alone; then he will rescue you from the Philistines.”

Lord my mind has pondered and figured out what I need to do and so I pray that you would change my heart so it’s one desire would be you and that my life would truly flow out from this, In Jesus name I pray. And so as I move forward with the rest of my day this will occupy my mind as I find myself ……Just Thinking

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