Well it has been a while since I have written anything but I feel to take the time today. It is a rainy day out there which is a great day to sit and reflect on the many things that have happened over the last several days.
I recently was faced with a number of situations that exposed some things in my heart that definitely need work. One odd situation was in the area of relationships. I was at a conference where I had “ expectations” of meeting up with friends and reconnecting. In once instance I had a few texts from a person who wanted to connect and have a gab as we really never got to know each other in person but rather chats of social media and a few short chats in the past.
So I see the person while I am in the conference and I go over to make the connection and I am happy to see them and I instinctively give her a hug as we have been waiting ( it seemed ) to connect. Well she seemed to be very closed and almost afraid that I came into her space. I in turn was shocked at her reaction and wondered what I had done wrong. I replayed the events in my mind and didn’t see anything wrong other then I must have misread the person I thought I knew to some degree.
Now as you know when it comes to relational things there is no point in trying to discuss what the other person did with God as He is not interested in bashing one of His children with one of His other ones. He was willing to chat with me about me. I was somewhat offended, confused and oh that feeling of rejection that has played havoc in my life but to a lesser degree as I matured. My immediate response was to fake my way along in conversation with the person and said how the three of us ( Margie ) would get together to catch up in how each others lives were going etc. I could not shake that response from me though as my “ feelings” were now dictating my choices.
My immediate plan was to cut the source of this hurtful negative feeling which emanated from this person. I would now avoid her as much as possible and when I did run into her just give a polite smile and keep walking. Eventually this loose connection would just go away. She would just disappear from my world and thus the threat of another hurtful encounter would be removed from my life. I have great life managing skills! They don’t have God’s stamp of approval though. These skills will help you stay disconnected from the body and keep you in the shallow end of God’s pool. The real question that I should be asking myself is “ Is this person really the source of my hurt feelings?” The answer to that question is no.
There is one who is an enemy of God and was my former master who still wants to control and sometimes still does my actions. His greatest power to control me is through the power of pain whether physical or through “feelings”. He knows from history what buttons to push to cause me to move in a way pleasing to him and not to God. So in this instance I cut her off in my mind and never did connect with her. I did what was wrong yet again. It is only now that I am taking the time to reflect on what happened did I see that I was wrong. Perhaps my action also hurt her and she is being harassed by Satan as well. Satan’s plan is to divide us from one another as he knows there is power in us walking in the blessing of God which is unity. By cutting her off I have now sinned and pleased Satan by wounding two of us. Also if I have sinned then that means the wages of this thing are still death and that my employer paying these wages is Satan himself. This choice is worse then I first thought. The choice was supposed to protect me but in fact has endangered me. So now that I have planted a bad seed I have no choice but to go back and dig up that bad seed and plant a new one.
Feelings are a great gift that God has given us but when Satan has power over you through them the gift becomes a curse. The choices I make need to be based on what God has said through the gift of the bible. He explains what is right and how to prefer each other and that the blessings that we all desire in life flow out of our choices that line up with what He has taught us. People are really not our enemy nor the source of pain. People are often just a puppet in the hands of the evil puppeteer. When we choose to follow God’s way we cut the strings off from the evil puppeteer and we are free again. We are free to love and show kindness and the world becomes a brighter place for us all. This is what I am…… Just Thinking