MY FRIEND

 

I HAVE THIS AWESOME FRIEND YOU SEE

WHO OFTEN HIDES HER SELF

A PART OF HER IS BROKEN

SO SHE DOESN’T SEE HER WEALTH

 

SHE DOESN’T SEE THE VALUE

DEPOSITED RIGHT FROM THE START

ON EVERY TEST SHE FAILS HERSELF

AND DAMAGES HER OWN HEART

 

OH THE DEVIL IS SO CRAFTY

AS HE SPEAKS HIS LIES TO HER

YOU’LL JUST NEVER BE ENOUGH OH CHILD

AND NOT WORTHY TO BE HEARD

 

THE OTHER GIRLS ARE OH SO SWEET

AS THEY LINE UP NEXT TO YOU

IF ONLY YOU WERE MORE LIKE THEM

SO ON THESE LIES YOU STEW

 

THE TRUTH YOU SEE IS GOD MADE YOU

WITH PURPOSE AND PLAN IN MIND

HE OFTEN IS REVEALED THROUGH YOU

BUT THE LIES HAVE LEFT YOU BLIND

 

YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR FATHER

AND TRUST HIS WORK IS GOOD

HIS HEART DELIGHTS IN WHO YOU ARE

IF YOU ONLY UNDERSTOOD

 

GOD’S MERCIES ARE FOR EVERYONE

IN THIS YOU DO BELIEVE

IT’S TIME TO LIFT YOUR EYES AND SAY

HIS LOVES I DO RECEIVE

 

 

 

 

Pain and it’s many forms

PAIN 1

Pain is something that we all live with in one form or another. It comes in all shapes and sizes and is like a parasite as it sucks the life from it’s host. For this blog I want to explore the pain caused by betrayal. It happens to us all on the road of life but it doesn’t make it any less painful. I became familiar with betrayal as a young boy. Not all homes were that warm safe place growing up and mine wasn’t either. Mom and dad seemed to be at each others throats as longs as I can remember. The home was under constant threat of divorce. It was not as common as it is now but for me it was very troubling. I grew up with this nagging sense that I had no safe place and that love was highly unstable. ( She loves me, she loves me not )

Somewhere around the age of 10 I started to get really bad headaches. On one such time I was visiting a neighbor friend of my parents and she suggested I lay down and slept until it passed. She was always kind to me. I went to sleep and then woke as I heard a familiar voice. It was my father. I was curious why he was there. I went to see him and said “ Are you here to see if I was okay?” He said that he was. I was thinking how odd that he was doing that but I really wanted to believe that was true. I guess IO was never convinced at that age that I was really loved or appreciated at home. I really wanted to be so I accepted it as truth….. until I discovered that he was having an affair with that lady. That blow up was ugly which I got to see up front and personal. I was on my bicycle and going by that ladies house when my mother hollered for me to come in. I knew she was angry but I didn’t know why. I walked up the stairs and mom proceeded to tell me what this lady and dad were up to. There was lots of screaming. The ladies husband phoned and mom answered it. She tells the man what is going on and then takes the phone receiver and slams it into the woman’s face. At that point I left and so there blew up another place in my life that I found refuge in.

Well the family split up for a while and my sister and I were moved to my aunts in a small village. She was a nice lady and so we needed to make new friends. Things were much quieter there and we settled in. One of my favourite things to do was to go into town to the racetrack and watch the horses go. One night mom took us ( during the separation period ) and my grandmother was there. ( dads mom ) It was time to go home and I wanted to stay later so my grandmother said I could stay and she would bring me home. That was great as my mom agreed. We the races were over I was in the car with her when she started to talk about the trouble with our family. I can’t remember what I said about it at the time but it was a negative comment regarding my father being the bad one. She got very upset and told me that it was not all dad’s fault because my mother was just an ol whore anyway. That comment sent me spinning as my one remaining parent was untrustworthy as well.

It is funny how words can hurt and reshape you from one thing to another. My trust was destroyed as there was no place where you could trust other then I would need to trust my instincts and just watch myself. Where do you run as a child when home just isn’t home. It is funny but if someone were going to help me then and get me out of the mess I would have done whatever to stay there. My fear of the unknown was worse then the present fear I had. Yes betrayal can sure cause pain and the wounds are on the inside. Thankfully I discovered that there was a person who did love well and was willing to make me family. His love is unconditional and His home is indeed a safe place. His name is Jesus and He is very real. Anyway that is a few thoughts regarding betrayal that I found myself…… Just thinking

REFLECTION

 

The Lord did pray before He left

On a dark a dreary eve

He pondered those, and those to come

What was it they would need?

 

Trusting was one big problem

With mercy in short supply

The church had scribes and Pharisees

But on them he could not rely

 

With each soul wanting independence

There was no unity

Looking out for number one

All wanting to be free

 

So He prayed that we should be

Joined with Him as one

Surrendering our independence

Selfishness would now be done

 

A willingness to let God reign

Would burn within our minds

But the devil rose up and spoke his lies

And slowly we became blind

 

Now we sound like we trust in our Lord

And we have our doctrines in hand

But when it comes to trusting you my friend

It’s there I’ll take my stand

 

I’m sorry friend but I can’t believe

That you call Jesus your Lord

You take this love thing way to far

Your thinking we cannot afford

 

You see I’ve been a Christian for many years

And this one thing I’ve learned

You never show your weakness friend

Or you will end up burned

 

The word of God is like a sword

Cutting the weak ones down

From their knees they look up

And they will see my frown

 

I’m sorry sir but you are wrong

There is a much better way to go

I surrender my life into His hands

And with His love I’ll glow

 

In this church where you play God

It’s a mystery as to why

You see whatever you do without love

Will count for nothing and die

 

Jesus opened the door so wide

That all were welcome in

He loved us into His family

And freed you from your sin.

 

So as you lead that life of yours

Judging others as you walk

Slander, gossip and the like

In those I place no stalk

 

It sounds like it’s time to make a change

And turn back to your first love

Repent for all your hurting ways

And wear Jesus like a glove

 

 

 

 

 

 

DARK DAYS

The seasons change

and my scenery too

From the cold of winter

To the wet and goo

 

The rain clouds form

closing out the light

now dark and dreary

with no end in sight

 

My heart grows heavy

As joy has now fled

Sadness now comes

Filling me with dread

 

If I were alone now

Stuck in this pit

Soon I’d be hopeless

In the mess I’d sit

 

But I have a friend

And He’s always near

His words are true

And full of cheer

 

In His presence

I will smile again

In spite of the weather

I’ll dance in this rain

 

Circumstances do change

And trials do appear

But the love of my friend

Is always so near

With Him things are different

I’m safe and secure

the love of my Jesus

shall always endure